As a scientist, I always wonder how the lab animals that are being tested view their lives and what is going on around them. So here is a fun little glimpse into the mind of a lab rat!
Cheese… Smell cheese. Wall… Another wall… Opening… Cheese..? Cheese!
Large hand! Run! Squeezed… Bite! Bite! Ouch! Sharp! Pain in stomach…
I smell cheese close… Stomach rumbles. Need food. Run to wall, turn. Wall. Turn, wall. Go back… Opening… Cheese!
Large hand again! Run! Squeezed…Dropped in cage. Trapped.
The cheese trick again… Trick that ends with giant hand and cage. Always… But need food. Starved all day. Run to opening. Through another opening. See cheese… Cautiously approach.
Sprint! Fast as legs go! Grab cheese and turn to run away! Giant hand blocking path… Give up and await the squeeze. But keep the cheese.
Giants call it “Maze,” but really it is cheese trick. Always food after Maze. Maybe wait and see. Sit and wait. Giant hand pushed backside. Still… Sit and wait.
Stupid giant. I learn your tricks.
No more Maze. Giants give up. I win. New game much fun. Step on square. Then step on another square. Food arrives! Now step on circle and another circle. More food!
This is easy.
The giants that are called humans put a card with an equation in my cage. Today it is a new one. Before it was “10 + 5 = ?.” Now it is “10 + 15 = ?.” The humans think they are smarter than I, but they gave an easy question. I already learned 10 + 5 = 15 before. So 10 more to the 15 makes 25. I know answer, but don’t need their food reward. I hide little food in sleeping shelter every night. But for now I play the human’s game. Step on 2 and step on 5. Food appears.
These human’s tests bore me. Day after day they try to make me fail. And day after day they are forced to give me food when I pass their test. They are always happy when they give me food. Maybe they want me to succeed? If so, they should let me out of this cage and stop poking me with needles.
The humans will miss me. They were always happy when I proved smarter than their expectations. They were kind to me to some degree. If it wasn’t for the cage and the needle every month I might have stayed, but alas, this is not how one treats their friends. They always thought they were better than I with their lab coats and their clipboards. Fools. I will return one day and show them how much smarter I am! They will all see!
Cheese? Smell cheese…? Wall… Go back. Wall… Wall… Cheese? Wall… Opening! Cheese!